To elope or not to elope?
If you ask your grandparents what an elopement looks like to them, you’ll start to realize that elopements don’t carry the same meaning that they used to. If you’ve ever thought that a big wedding didn’t feel very “you + yours,” then you’ve probably thought about the idea of a modern elopement.
If you’ve started weighing the pros and cons of an elopement, cringing at the thought of having to go in front of a ton of people you really didn’t even want to invite to begin with, or the cost surrounding the “wedding necessities,” – you’re probably in the right place. The reason you’re feeling so drawn to the idea is because it’s an opportunity to feel the most yourselves on one of the coolest days of your life while creating the most authentic experience.
When you google elopement, this is what you find:
e·lope
verb
run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent.
BARF. NOT TRUE.
Elopements today are more of a way to create an intimate and authentic experience that represents the couple entirely, while ditching the social pressures of the “big wedding.” It’s a way to stay true to yourselves + start your life the way YOU want to.
I always say if you’re on the fence between a wedding + having an elopement, your true self knows what you really want. After shooting weddings + elopements side by side for going on 6 years now, the reality is that 2/3 of ALL the wedding couples I’ve shot regret the big celebration or wish they’d done something more for themselves.
I’m not anti-wedding, here. I’m just pro-elopement. I think you can learn just as much from couples that have eloped themselves as you can from the couples that had the full blown weddings. 2/3 is a large fraction of couples that wish they could be in your shoes again and do things differently and go the intimate route.
In contrast – absolutely ZERO of my elopement couples would have changed a thing. * the volume inside of this bus, is astronomical *
Are you on board? Is this what is speaking to you. Choosing to elope doesn’t make the planning process disappear. In fact, for a lot of people it can lay on the pressure even more in some aspects. If you’re choosing to elope, you’re not choosing the easy way out and I AM SO PROUD OF YOU for choosing you + yours and your true selves. You’re going against maybe everything you thought you dreamed of when you were little and you’re going against the social standards.
I’m going to answer some frequently asked questions in my recent IG poll. I hope these answers help make you feel less alone + guide you to planning the most epic and personal day.
Q: Does an elopement have to just be two people?
A: NOpe!
That’s the dopest part about an elopement. It can include whoever you want. Typically the elopements I’ve shot don’t include more than 30 people, but that just means the people that you do include are THAT special to you both.
Elopements are for two people that just want to spend a day or two with whoever they choose, if anyone else, in a super intentional and intimate setting. It doesn’t mean there is zero planning, but the planning is so much more personal.
Q: Can you elope anywhere?
A: essentially yes + no.
Choosing WHERE to elope can be the most daunting decision of all. Look back on past trips or dream of a place you’d want to explore together. The world is a BIG place.
As long as I am able to get the “okay” from the authority of the land or complete an application for a permit (National Parks, in particular.) the options are really endless and it can be whatever moves you most + fits your particular budget. If you have a particular place in mind, I’m here to help do my best to nail down all of the logistics for you!
Q: speaking of budget, what does the average cost of an elopement look like?
A: This can’t be a straight forward answer because every elopement is so unique to the couple and everyone’s budget is different.
The greatest thing and thing that differs most drastically between weddings + elopements is that you’re able to be super intentional where your funds are going. You have no obligation to spend money on traditional wedding things. You can invest in your travel + stay, documentation (photo + video), amenities for your friends and family that are coming (if you feel lead that way), a wicked picnic in the woods, an adventurous guided Jeep trail ride, horseback riding through the mountains, WHATEVER you want.
This doesn’t have to be just a 1-2 hour ordeal. This can be a 2-3 day adventure and how freaking cool will it be to look back on that in the future and know you did exactly what you wanted.
Q: do you have to have an officiant?
A: NO! Not in a few of places actually.
Here’s a list of states that are considered self-uniting (no officiant required):
Pennsylvania, Illinois, Wisconsin, Colorado, District of Columbia, California, Maine, Nevada, Kansas
This just means no third party is required to marry you! It can be just the two of you and your photographer during your BINDING ceremony. How freaking cool is that?
Q: do you have to have any witnesses?
A: same as the officiant question! Nope! Not in a few states.
Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Connecticut, Florida, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Maryland, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, texas, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, District of Columbia
What’s even more fun is that in these states you can use your doggie’s paw prints if you wanted to.
Q: What if I want just an “us” ceremony? Do I have to bring the witnesses along.
A: Nope! You don’t have to do that either!
You can have total and complete strangers sign as your witnesses! I’m actually listed as the witness (as their photographer) on several marriage licenses at this point!
Q: WIth covid, we couldn’t wait any longer and went ahead and got legally married at the courthouse. Can we still have an elopement?
A: um yesss! STILL SIGNIFICANT!
To most people, the date and legalities of being married are super minor. You still deserve whatever you want your ceremony to look like! It’s not any less significant under any circumstances!
